Broken Heart

Sleepless nights and days in vain

Two sides of the same coin

Love and pain.

All the memories you preserved

The tiny toys and the long poems

The scribbled notes and the blurry photos

Ashes. They turn to ashes as they say goodbye

They move on with their life

While you lay there and sigh.

Why did you remember the color of their shirt

And their smell on a rainy day

Why did you remember their eyes and their gaze

Why did you save old photos and fridge magnets

Why love when all it brings is heartbreak after heartbreak

Faking it

A busy nighttime street

And a quiet high rise apartment

A cup of tea and a book

Intrumental music in the background

Some fairy lights

The ambiance is just right

So you let the music and the words drown out

Drown out the voices in your heart

You let them suffocate the painful past

You go out and you smile

Carrying a secret, all this while

You talk about the past as if its a long-gone chapter

Hoping they believe you, not knowing the extent of the disaster

So you put on a show and shine for the world

Deep down, your heart only mutters the same words

So go on faking my dear,

Until one day, it doesn’t hurt as much

For the world is filled

With love, heartbreak, betrayals and such.

© Sneha P Rights Reserved

The Bitter Truth

One piece of wisdom my elders passed on to me was as follows

“If you plant the seed of the neem tree,

It won’t bear the sweet fruit of mango”

The leaves of neem, are very better to swallow

I never truly appreciated this saying

Until I found myself on my knees, praying.

For the pain to stop and the tears to go away

For your presence had made my days gray.

At the crack of the dawn I was going to bed

For I had spent the night crying instead.

I gave you my all, my innocence and, my heart

I stood by you right from the start

When you were down and out,

I stood by you without a shadow of a doubt

I cried in your sorrow and laughed in your joy

Yet, you treated my heart like a toy.

Like the tree of neem you continued to spit out bitterness and hate

Cutting me down until it was too late.

The girl who helped you stand up when you fell

Was the very one you hid like a secret you couldn’t tell.

You trashed her confidence and her spirit you crushed,

Like the neem tree, your bitterness fell wherever you touched.

So you spew out venom, because that is your nature

And she goes on giving, because she loves to nurture.

Until she is gone forever, lost in this cruel garden of hate,

Maybe one day, you will realize her worth, but it will be too late

© Sneha P

Little Moments, Lots to Say

John Keats said,
A thing of beauty is a joy forever
This quote develops more meaning
As I grow older
The other day for instance,
I walked by the pier around evening
The gentle laps of emerald blue water
And the last remaining rays of sunshine
Illuminated the brick path and this dark mind of mine.
I marveled at the beauty of the city lights
The vast ocean, the tall towers and the sailing ships
But what caught my eye, was human relationships.
I see a little baby giggle with laughter as the father pokes the feet of his daughter
I see the wrinkled smile of an old woman as she snaps a quick picture of her husband looking at the water
I see two new lovers,
The girl who is dressed in a red flowery dress, turns a deeper shade of red
As the guy mutters sweet nothings near her ears
I see a guy talking on headphones, smiling from ear to ear
Another woman reading a book on the grass,
Reminiscing about a time in the past
The harbor is beautiful but there’s something prettier nearby,
Memories, love, intimacy and beauty
Of humans, and their untold stories
Of little moments of joy, nostalgia, romance and even monotony
Coloring human existence with shades of delight and agony
The sunsets today but the stories don’t go to bed
Pushing on wards like sailing ships
Like Fitzgerald says,
Like boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past
Not knowing how long this moment will last.

Memories – An old forgotten box

Margaret Atwood Says,

“The memory is no friend

It can only tell you

what you no longer have”

I breathe a sigh

Today, I passed the little clubhouse,

Where we played childlike games

I breathe a sigh because it’s not the same.

Today I shopped at our favorite supermarket

I remember how you pushed the cart down the little aisles

While I clung to your hand

I remember how you bought me food

before you went back

Worrying I won’t have enough to eat

I remember tidying up your place before I left, so it remained neat.

I wish the returns counter accepted memories back.

I see a car on the street that looks exactly like yours

I reason, thousands of people drive that car

And I tuck you away in my mind someplace far.

My phone shows me a picture of you in the kitchen

Childlike eyes, and silly smiles

I toss away those photos in the deleted files.

You see, someone told me

you don’t go back in time, you only go forward

I wish you and me in the past didn’t make these memories,

I wish we know then, that in the future

we run away from each other, not toward.

And now like old furniture that I cannot seem to give away

As I try to move, your memories get in the way.

© Sneha Pathak

Angel

They say the brightest morning

Come after the longest nights

I was engulfed in darkness

Until you stepped in with your shining light.

A sole candle, enough to keep the darkness at bay

My heart belonged to you, I didn’t even have a say.

You taught me what love is, pure, kind and compassionate

You taught me, you can be calm in arguments and in heart, passionate.

laughter fills our room,

As we have date nights under the moon

You became my biggest supporter and cheerleader

You were the one pushing me to climb the ladder

Even in anger you don’t lose your mind

Your words towards me are always so kind

When life had bought me on my knee

You came and pulled me up, I knew it was meant to be.

(C) Sneha P

The end of a love story

Slowly, one day, I look out the window

And everything has changed.

I look back at the story I was reading,

It is coming to an end

I look back with nostalgia,

marveling at the twists and bends.

A love story turned into a horror novel

One where you take your heart and bury it with a shovel

The hero lost his way and fell into a hole

One where dark clouds rolled in as he drank the cursed potions,

and soon he assumed the villain’s role.

He joined forces with an evil solider,

His life began to roll downhill like a boulder.

He left the princess to wait in the tower forever

Betrayed, she escaped, promising to return never.

His darkness had begun to dim her shine as well

She looked back and marveled at the day in love they fell.

A time, long ago, when things were different when stories were unwritten

When smiles were shy, conversations were long and the heart was warm

Little did she know, even then, for her, he was always wrong.

Vain, narcissistic, cruel and inhuman

he was always the kind of person

who would forget old ties and chase new ones.

She tried and tried to save him from his doom

But all he did, was delve deeper into this realm of gloom.

So the story ended on a note of heartbreak, ache, and pain

What can I say,

Sometimes love is lost in vain.

© Sneha P Copyright 2022

One day

One day,

will turn to smiles

One day

the destination wont be away a million miles

One day

the person next to you wont break your heart

One day

you wont have to go back to the start

One day

loneliness won’t curse your nights

One day

the future will suddenly seem bright.

One day

you wont go to bed praying to be treated right

One day

love won’t feel like a losing fight.

The stranger in the coffee shop

I watch her sip coffee sitting at the table opposite mine

Her manner is quizzical, her laugh lyrical

She is clumsy, dropping crumbs of food and then a spoon

She looks like she is focusing hard on her book

Her eyes have that dreamy look

She is lost in a world that is entirely her own

In a room of darkness, her soul just glows

Her smile has my heart pounding in my chest,

I try to speak through my eyes, the rest is better left unsaid.

© Sneha Pathak Copyright 2022

Reminds me of the song – Falling In Love in a Coffee Shop

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much

Unloved

The shadow of our past follows us wherever we go

Growing up believing you weren’t enough

Having a childhood that was tough

You begin to put up walls around you

Looking at suspicion at everyone new.

You get tired of being alone

So you let someone in your home.

You hope finally, someone will love you right

Yet, you are caught up in petty fights.

You try to tell them your thoughts and emotions,

They might care – where did you get that notion?

Why do you do what they like, wanting to give love a chance

Yet, you are the only one doing the dance.

For every minute you spend crying alone,

Hiding your tears from your the world again

Trying to smile through the pain

You realize, love never found you

But the cycle of abandonment just starts anew

You wonder why doesn’t anyone choose you

You wonder why are your moment of warmth so few?

You wonder, why aren’t you lovable enough

Then you push aside that thought because you are tough.

You may hope for someone to love the child in you

the one who was left behind

That doesn’t mean the world will ever be kind.

© Sneha Pathak Copyright 2022

Inspired by this song: Kahin To Hogi Woh

The lyrics loosely translate to:

I wonder if there is a world, I wonder if it exists

One where my life isnt so mad at me.