Broken Heart

Sleepless nights and days in vain

Two sides of the same coin

Love and pain.

All the memories you preserved

The tiny toys and the long poems

The scribbled notes and the blurry photos

Ashes. They turn to ashes as they say goodbye

They move on with their life

While you lay there and sigh.

Why did you remember the color of their shirt

And their smell on a rainy day

Why did you remember their eyes and their gaze

Why did you save old photos and fridge magnets

Why love when all it brings is heartbreak after heartbreak

Chasing shadows

You run past the meadows

Chasing something, a shadow, a glimpse

Of the memories of the past

A song plays on the radio and you hit call on your phone

All it took was one musical note to break your no contact zone

You remember the past and a bitter after taste lingers in your mouth

But your mind only focuses on the love before it went south

You remember the sound of their feet on the wood

Spending more time cuddled up than you should

You remember the first breakfast together

You remember the first kiss in terrible weather

You remember the tears in their eyes as they drove away

You remember all the nights you prayed

So you chase the shadows of these memories

But they were long gone

The house was silent long before you left it

The kitchen hadn’t felt warmth, neither had you

And the eyes at the airport were wet only for you.

But you go on chasing shadows of a past

That ceased to exist, of a love that wasn’t meant to last.

So you chase shadows because you loved a little too hard

So you chase shadows even when there was no love, even in the past.

(C) Sneha Pathak

Faking it

A busy nighttime street

And a quiet high rise apartment

A cup of tea and a book

Intrumental music in the background

Some fairy lights

The ambiance is just right

So you let the music and the words drown out

Drown out the voices in your heart

You let them suffocate the painful past

You go out and you smile

Carrying a secret, all this while

You talk about the past as if its a long-gone chapter

Hoping they believe you, not knowing the extent of the disaster

So you put on a show and shine for the world

Deep down, your heart only mutters the same words

So go on faking my dear,

Until one day, it doesn’t hurt as much

For the world is filled

With love, heartbreak, betrayals and such.

© Sneha P Rights Reserved

The Bitter Truth

One piece of wisdom my elders passed on to me was as follows

“If you plant the seed of the neem tree,

It won’t bear the sweet fruit of mango”

The leaves of neem, are very better to swallow

I never truly appreciated this saying

Until I found myself on my knees, praying.

For the pain to stop and the tears to go away

For your presence had made my days gray.

At the crack of the dawn I was going to bed

For I had spent the night crying instead.

I gave you my all, my innocence and, my heart

I stood by you right from the start

When you were down and out,

I stood by you without a shadow of a doubt

I cried in your sorrow and laughed in your joy

Yet, you treated my heart like a toy.

Like the tree of neem you continued to spit out bitterness and hate

Cutting me down until it was too late.

The girl who helped you stand up when you fell

Was the very one you hid like a secret you couldn’t tell.

You trashed her confidence and her spirit you crushed,

Like the neem tree, your bitterness fell wherever you touched.

So you spew out venom, because that is your nature

And she goes on giving, because she loves to nurture.

Until she is gone forever, lost in this cruel garden of hate,

Maybe one day, you will realize her worth, but it will be too late

© Sneha P

Looking for a piece of me

You look at strangers searching for a piece of you
To find any sense of home in this place that is so new
But did home ever feel like home?
Did the people back home feel like your own?
Or have you always felt like a boat searching for a shore
Trying to row hard, but without any oars
The city changes, the scene changes, the people change
But a piece of your heart feels amiss, isn’t that so strange?
You search for something that feels like a blanket
On a cold winter night
You search for something that feels like a hot cup of tea
In a world where even a conversation comes for a fee
You search for something that feels like a rock
Like the comfort of finding that missing pair of sock
You search for a person who speaks your tongue in a foreign land
But does it ever feel like you are looking for penny’s in sand?
So you look at strangers trying to find meaning in their eyes
You search for the truth in a land of lies.

Memories – An old forgotten box

Margaret Atwood Says,

“The memory is no friend

It can only tell you

what you no longer have”

I breathe a sigh

Today, I passed the little clubhouse,

Where we played childlike games

I breathe a sigh because it’s not the same.

Today I shopped at our favorite supermarket

I remember how you pushed the cart down the little aisles

While I clung to your hand

I remember how you bought me food

before you went back

Worrying I won’t have enough to eat

I remember tidying up your place before I left, so it remained neat.

I wish the returns counter accepted memories back.

I see a car on the street that looks exactly like yours

I reason, thousands of people drive that car

And I tuck you away in my mind someplace far.

My phone shows me a picture of you in the kitchen

Childlike eyes, and silly smiles

I toss away those photos in the deleted files.

You see, someone told me

you don’t go back in time, you only go forward

I wish you and me in the past didn’t make these memories,

I wish we know then, that in the future

we run away from each other, not toward.

And now like old furniture that I cannot seem to give away

As I try to move, your memories get in the way.

© Sneha Pathak

I bid you farewell

With a tear in my eye

And a comforting smile on my lips

I bid you farewell, my love

Our fate wasn’t written together by gods above

Memories come flooding back

Of a golden time

where your hand refused to let go of mine

Of phone calls late into the night

Of crying, because we couldn’t stay away after a fight

Of times where you said “you are only mine”

Of times where without each other, there was no meaning of time

Of all the long roads we traveled to be with together

Our relationship had endured all kinds of weather

Of sunsets on beaches, and mornings in blanket

We were good together, even though not perfect.

Now the silence screams louder than words

Even just miles apart, the distance is like two worlds.

I stay up all night, wondering is this all

You yell at me for wanting you to call.

You go about your day and I go about mine

We forget each other, yet we feel completely fine.

So I know it’s farewell my love

Because I asked you where did our love go, as I let the memories unpack

You snap at me, “I want my life back”

So I know it’s farewell my love

The phone won’t flash my name

There won’t be even any pain to bear

Because, your heart is vacant, without any care.

Copyright (c)

Sneha P

The lion and the lamb

Nature, cruel nature

Writing down the fates of every creature.

Smiling, cruelly perhaps watching the cards unfold

Leaving us in a jungle with a blindfold.

The little lamb that fell in love with the lion

Hoped that love can conquer all

Warm hugs, soft kisses

morning curled up together like a ball

With each day, their differences grew clear

They squabbled and screamed, but come end of day

They promised to love, come what may

But one day, when food was running low

Hiding in the bushes, the lamb lay low

She saw the lion hunt in motion,

Kill its prey and feast on it with devotion

The prey was a lifeless little lamb

Seeing this, the lamb just ran.

Tears flowing from its eyes, how could I be so dumb

How did I not see him as a predator, his heart began to feel numb.

The lion decides the lamb isn’t worth loving,

He finds the lamb conceited and vain

A predator by nature, he lets the hunt begin

Sometimes, all the lamb finds in the name of love is pain.

You see, love doesn’t conquer all my darling

One morning you wake up in their arms, and the differences are startling.

Sometimes, the lambs desire for freedom, can be mistaken for ego

Sometimes, even when the lamb screams, the lion doesn’t let go.

© Sneha P

The end of a love story

Slowly, one day, I look out the window

And everything has changed.

I look back at the story I was reading,

It is coming to an end

I look back with nostalgia,

marveling at the twists and bends.

A love story turned into a horror novel

One where you take your heart and bury it with a shovel

The hero lost his way and fell into a hole

One where dark clouds rolled in as he drank the cursed potions,

and soon he assumed the villain’s role.

He joined forces with an evil solider,

His life began to roll downhill like a boulder.

He left the princess to wait in the tower forever

Betrayed, she escaped, promising to return never.

His darkness had begun to dim her shine as well

She looked back and marveled at the day in love they fell.

A time, long ago, when things were different when stories were unwritten

When smiles were shy, conversations were long and the heart was warm

Little did she know, even then, for her, he was always wrong.

Vain, narcissistic, cruel and inhuman

he was always the kind of person

who would forget old ties and chase new ones.

She tried and tried to save him from his doom

But all he did, was delve deeper into this realm of gloom.

So the story ended on a note of heartbreak, ache, and pain

What can I say,

Sometimes love is lost in vain.

© Sneha P Copyright 2022

One day

One day,

will turn to smiles

One day

the destination wont be away a million miles

One day

the person next to you wont break your heart

One day

you wont have to go back to the start

One day

loneliness won’t curse your nights

One day

the future will suddenly seem bright.

One day

you wont go to bed praying to be treated right

One day

love won’t feel like a losing fight.