The horrors of love

When you find yourself

Crying to sleep

When your cuts are just too deep

When right before you thought it was going okay

You find your cheeks tear-stained, in the middle of the day.

When you dread speaking your mind

To avoid argument of any kind

For everything seems to spark a conflict

Maybe its time to realize

Heartbreak is the drug,

You are an addict.

That’s when you must look in the mirror

Look in your eyes, you’ll see fear.

Fear of being alone, not love my darling

And that right there is a good point for starting.

Pack your bags, emotionally or otherwise,

For a day mourn the relationship’s demise.

For a day, I say and not a second more,

For your heart has witnessed love turn to gore.

Sweet nothings turn to a bitter after taste in your mouth,

after you take their name

And not your happiness, but your sanity is now in doubt.

Leave, and run, far and away, somewhere they can’t find you again,

All your lost strength, try to regain.

Build yourself, this time stronger than before

For now, you have seen, the horrors love has in store.

But don’t give up on love my darling

For somewhere, there is someone who has gone through the same

Maybe one day, when you meet them, this shall make sense.

But if you don’t, that’s okay too

Because the person who loves you the most has to be you.

 

(c) Sneha Pathak 2019

Rights Reserved.

 

 

Hope is the thing

Hope is the thing that ruins you

The veiled demon,  dressed in a cloak of gold

Hiding underneath the dagger and the black robes.

Like the sirens that call out to the sailor

Hope sings a melody of success and dreams

Of success, glory, and joy bursting at seams.

It draws you out of your comfort zone,

Of apathy and inaction.

The small flame of light,

Fighting away the familiar dak night.

It promises you the morning sun,

Beware, its a trap. Run!

It draws you out and makes you toil

It makes you walk the burning soil

It takes your sweat, blood, and tears

It gives you sleepless nights filled with fear.

For now, you have something of value

The false diamond of dreams, gifted by hope.

But now it has made you a beggar

For you pray to all gods known to mankind

You pray to the universe, beg for a sign.

And when its all gone to dust

As you maybe knew it would

You are left a pile of skin and bones.

Hope will be the death of you

And just when you have given up

It will resurrect you anew.

 

© Sneha Pathak

What do you know of heartbreak?

What do you know of heartbreak?

You don’t get emotionally invested

Your eyes have never been tested

For the number of tears, they can dispel

Your lips, for the number of apologies

They can propel.

You can walk out of love like it meant nothing

You, forget people like children forget old playthings.

You thought the song under the stars was a childish gesture

My love, my care, my loyalty, do you realize they are a treasure?

You dismissed the cards I made you,

Staying up all night

You go to your parties, right after a fight.

You see no emotions in the poetry I write

You don’t fear losing your love,

and waking with a fright.

You say you’re stoic and unemotional

I say you have never known love and devotion.

I say you haven’t felt the pain I feel

When I see her every day

When I wonder why do people like her get their way?

I say you haven’t felt the crushing weight

of someone’s lips as they part with a final kiss.

I say, your heart has no one to long for, no one to miss.

I say that you have not felt the burning flames of love

Of a feeling so intense that it consumes your being.

Neither have you felt the pain of an indifferent lover

Because you are the first to walk out, even before it’s over.

© Sneha Pathak [Rights Reserved]

Mon Amour

Here’s my entry for this week’s tale – 3 Line tales

She had forgotten all about that exciting week in Paris where she felt one with herself, free-spirited and full of hope inspired by all the artists, museums and most of all, her time with the charming young French poet she fell in love with.

The smell of children’s socks had replaced the fresh baked goods smell from the boulangeries, the screams of her husband had replaced the poets tender rhymes, the callouses on her hands from the chores had replaced the feeling of soft silk dresses she wore in Paris.

But today, as her youngest daughter took off for college, she visited her husband’s grave one last time, bid her farewell and as she began to drive away, she looked back one last time at this city which she was planning to leave forever to chase a dream that was breathed to life again by the letter in her hand that contained the following words – “J’attends toujours mon amour*”

 

*I am still waiting my love

 

(c) Sneha Pathak

Dinner table conversation

Like a iron hammer striking a metal gong
The spoon clashes against the plate
Playing crude, loud, lonely songs
Of love, heartbreak and fate.

The old chair creaks under my touch, the one that we picked out together
The one you always wanted to get rid of for a newer design
You see I held on to it,
For my hope unlike yours, does not resign.

The pale white plates with light blue flowers clatter as I put them on the table,
The state of which, is also no longer stable.

This creaking, clatter and clashes, make noises make a symphony
Helping me fill this silence melancholy.
Even though my heart can’t stand this separation,
This melody, makes up for our missing dinner table conversation.

All is fair, for love is war

We are skillful fighters,

You and I.

Our weapon of choice?

Knife-like words of ice.

We hide behind promises of love eternal,

Masking skillfully, the venom internal.

We take oaths of a love so pure,

We then inflict wounds, that have no cure.

For when the healer poisons your medicine,

Where do you go to recover from that ailment obscene?

So we wait for death, as we fatigued lie.

We are skillful fighters,

You and I.

After the war, we swear allegiance to each other

After so many battles, shouldn’t we know better?

These treaties are a disguise,

To keep the enemy close, the one we despise.

That way, we can attack them in their sleep,

We can shower them with love, then make them weep.

We can poke swords where it hurts the most,

After we have known their secrets innermost.

For betrayal has a sweet taste,

A slow hunt, not one of haste.

For our desire for mutual self-destruction keeps us tied.

We are skillful fighters,

You and I.

We have pierced each other’s souls now

Taking away hope, filling it with sorrow.

Yet, we never leave,

For this is love, we believe.

Even as we lie under different skies,

Yet again tears filling up our eyes,

We never say our goodbyes

For we are skillful fighters,

You and I.

 

© Sneha Pathak [Rights Reserved]

Analysis of Mariana – Lord Alfred Tennyson

Hello readers,

Before I begin the analysis, here is a link to the poem for those of you who haven’t read it yet – Click here

Mariana is a poem describing the despair and isolation of a woman in an isolated home.

The poem describes the passing of time, the surroundings, the objects in the vicinity of the woman all reflecting the gloominess of her life.

The following lines are repeated after every stanza, in some way or the other –

 “I am aweary, aweary,
I would that I were dead!”

This describes the extent of the despair felt by the woman. She feels cut off from the world, lonely, deserted by her lover.

She spends her days in tears and her nights wide awake, wishing for death, for she cannot bear the absence of love.

Here are a few lines from me on the topic of waiting for your love.

In the morning sun, 
As I watch the children run
Happy and carefree, 
My hear whispers, 
Oh I how I envy thee!
For I miss the times I was free.
Free from the shackles of love 
The clouds of gloom above. 
A simpler time, 
When I was content with my rhyme.
Your absence now pricks my heart
I curse myself, for letting this story start.
I swallow my pride to hear your voice,
Even hearing your indifference would suffice. 
But why did you come through this door dear?
When all your promises were a lie. 

The dark side of love, one of utter despair where no voice is enough to fill the silence. Where no person is enough to fill the gap left by them. Where nothing holds your interest when life itself seems like a burden is projected in this poem.

Which is why perhaps, the woman, in the end, accepts the bitter reality that her love will not come.

Do share your views after reading the poem!
(Disclaimer: Following a few lines by an amateur poet in poetry by Tennyson is foolhardy. However, I am doing this to continue writing poems while reading this book Taking inspiration perhaps. )