Letters to those who hurt me

I write a letter.

Several letters, one for each

Set of eyes that made mine overflow with tears.

One for the teacher

Who castigated me for years.

One for each bully

Who picked on me when I was weaker.

One for the friend

Who let me down in my time of need.

One for the aunty

Who broke down my self esteem.

One for the nameless relative

Who questioned my life choices.

One for the colleague

Who backstabbed me without cause.

One for the lover

Who made me cry every night

I pour my heart into these papers

Hoping it would make me feel lighter.

Telling these people off,

For all the times they hurt me carelessly.

Words spoken, cruelly and hastily.

And I write one final one

For the girl who writes these letters.

One to thank her,

For because of her pain, I became better.

I thank her for being patient

For pulling herself together

For braving through stormy weather.

I am the product of her endeavour

Of her courage, and her fear.

Where would she be

Without these experiences?

They moulded her,

And she moulded me.

I tear up the other letters

And keep just the one

I rise, like a Phoenix

As I watch the other letters burn.

(C) Sneha Pathak

Your momentary mediocrity

Today you woke up

Perfectly ready to conquer the world

Be the best version of yourself and to shine unparalleled.

But as the moments trickle away

You decide to be mediocre instead.

For today is such an ordinary day

People keeping their heads down, going their way.

The breakfast is the same as always

The coffee is just regular

The commute to your 9 to 5 is exasperating, as usual.

The different faces you see each day,

Are still the same, sheeps with their heads down, going one way.

How supremely better am I than this kind

Wonders your potentially exquisite mind.

The world doesn’t feel ready

To witness your potential today.

So you work ordinarily

No less no more than the day before.

You make small talk with your coworker

You wanted to the conversation to sparkle some more

However why waste your knowledge and skills on this ordinary being?

So you indulge in those meaningless moments fleeting.

You go about the day, like the sand on the beach

Pushed around by waves, back and forth

Without any sense of self worth.

You write a poem, a simple ordinary verse

Avoiding depth of thought and talking superficially about the universe.

For the exemplary work of art you can create in a moment

Isn’t ready to be shown yet to these masses, who can’t comment.

It will go unnoticed, unadmired

For their little minds can’t appreciate your genius if they tried.

So you live in mediocrity, ignorant and at bliss

For today too, a day has gone by

And the opportunity is missed.

But you know today wasn’t the day to be better and to live upto your capacity.

So today, again, you settle in your perpetual mediocrity.

(C) Sneha Pathak

She wants to be the star

She wanted to be like the stars

Not for the way they sparkled

Even in the darkest nights

Not for the joy

They bought to people’s eyes.

Neither for their omniscience

Nor for their luminance.

She wanted to be like the stars

For they were indifferent

To the opinions of the humans.

They shined bright,

Positively assured in their own right.

To see them in a dark, cloudy sky

To really see them true and clear,

One needs to travel to the mountains

Climb high and up, keeping aside fear.

Only those deserve to see them,

Who take the effort and pain.

For a starry sky, is not just beautifully vain.

She wants to be mystical

Like the stars that make you wonder

About the magnitude of the universe

Of your life and purpose.

She wants to make you think about existence,

She wants to talk to you, of life and its essence.

She doesn’t want to be a passing notion,

She wants to be the thought that keeps you up all night

Of questions that make you reach higher

For answers that are not easily found

She wants to be a star,

Not to make your wishes come true

But to stand apart from the crowd

To be born each night anew.

(C) Sneha Pathak

A gaping pit

Silent screams,

Even when the skies are blue.

When in the crowd around you, ears are few.

They say loneliness is like a dark room,

I say the darkness is a friend, for the lonely mind.

For inside this gaping pit, they learn to hug their knees

when they cry, they learn the virtue of being kind.

They learn the warmth of their own hands

holding them tight, encircling their being

holding it together

all the broken pieces, all their loose strings.

They try to crawl out and seek some light

they seek support from those outside

But the footsteps near, grow faint and fainter

As their hope fades away.

Soon, even when a hand comes in to pull them out,

they begin to cringe in fear, and their intentions they doubt.

For they have tried to blend in, to fit in, to belong

They are left wondering what they are doing wrong.

Even the closes comrades, seem to slowly pull away

for who wants to be with people who aren’t always gay?

Soon, they accept their fate and decide to stay aloof

To live a life with their constant companion, under their solitary roof.

(c) Sneha Pathak

Patience and Kindness

I gave a part of me to people and things

And when they left,

I kept feeling something is amiss.

My balloons of joy, tied to another

Stayed weighted near the ground, going no further.

I let others hold the rein to my joy and sorrow

I lived in suspense, wondering how they’ll make me feel tomorrow.

I let things external to me, define my being

I kept focusing on trivialities, the bigger picture I was not even seeing.

What they thought of me, defined my day

What about what I thought, didn’t I have a say?

One day I woke up, and decided to listen only to one soul

The girl in the mirror, she will play the lead role.

I decided to let go of emotions that were holding me back,

Ghosts of past, worries of future I tied them all up and threw away the sack.

I focused on smiling a lot more than I did

Of my demons though, I wasn’t yet rid.

I drank some warm tea and listened to soulful songs

I tried to find joy in little things, not worry about what could go wrong.

I gathered around me people who made me feel warm

I had to shut my walls to those who had caused me harm.

I read some poems and ate some good food

I tried to actively focus on the state of my mood.

Everyday I thanked someone for being there with me

Of the burden of unrealistic self expectations, I tried to slowly break free.

I can’t say I have conquered my mind,

But one thing I learnt, is to be patient with myself and to be kind.

(C) Sneha Pathak

A small eclipse before rebirth

As the eclipse hides the moon

I hope you see the similarity soon.

For my darkness too, has hidden my light

A part of me too, is hidden from sight.

A part of me that once laughed without care

A part of me that I lost when, I am not even aware.

My confidence now too hidden from the view

But stick around longer, I’ll be born anew.

Just as the eclipse shall end in a few hours tonight

My radiance that was hidden will soon be my guiding light.

For I shall rise from the ashes of my weaknesses, like a Phoenix reborn

In this battle against myself, victory shall me mine alone.

(C) Sneha Pathak

When the world is too much

Their whispers are deafening today

She runs out and and far away.

Her body though, stays put there.

She smiles politely, acting unaware.

At times their words cut not her skin, but her soul

They see her bleeding, but their words just roll.

For they feel so powerful, sitting up high

Living in their little bubbles of lie.

Passing judgement like its their duty and right

Arm chair warriors, hiding behind little screens they fight.

They pick on the fallen and the weak,

For their opinion are baseless and their notions reek.

Some days their eyes continue to stare,

Some days it gets too much to bear.

So she runs away far, as far as her feet can carry

She stops on the beach, now really weary.

The sea makes her feet wet

And the grey sky starts spilling droplets.

She gets drenched, as her eyes add to the wetness.

Her skin craves a kind human touch,

Someone to tell her, fret not my dear, some days the world is just too much.

(C) Sneha Pathak