Weekend musings

The way people treat you is a reflection of their inner self and character, not yours.

You may choose to be a good person, a kind friend, an empathetic listener, that doesn’t mean your kindness will be reciprocated. That is merely your choice. The choices that you make may let you sleep at night in peace knowing you are doing good or prick your heart like a little thorn knowing you are in the wrong.

You may be the shoulder to cry on for people in your life that doesn’t mean when you need one there will be people around to be that for you.

The people who you may travel across the oceans for will not necessarily cross a street to be there for you when you need them. Sometimes even if you give someone all your patience, love and support they can still choose to be indifferent or even impudent towards you. That is their choice.

Don’t break your heart just because someone else doesn’t have one. 

Don’t fall from grace just because someone else chooses to do so.

Don’t stop being kind just because someone doesn’t appreciate it. Someone might, someday.

Don’t stop being you just because someone else can’t handle your magnificence. 

Don’t stop shining just because someone tries to dim your light.

 

© Sneha P [Rights Reserved]

Rebuild

Rebuild

Tiny little pieces fallen on the floor,

I pick them up diligently, like a chore.

Once a magnificent marvel,

now fragments of the past, without any sparkle.

Washed over by life, love and loss,

Tales of bridges burnt, and crossed.

This is not a sad tale,

but one of tragedies and triumphs.

Of dragging yourself up the hill,

searching everyday, for the lost will.

Every story has a few tears, drops of blood perhaps,

But what is a hero without a few mishaps?

Every blow, meant to break me

only to mold myself anew.

Someday, I’ll be ready,

and have my destiny fulfilled,

Until then, I shall continue to rebuild.

 

Copyright (C) 2016 Sneha P

Transformed

Transformation

Like an ignorant bird,

sitting in a cage,

counting its blessings,

on being so safe.

Unaware of the joy of flight,

of its pleasure rare.

I sit around in my tiny world,

Blissfully ignorant.

The sun never bothered me,

The shade was my abode.

I dared not step out

to explore the unknown.

The world is scary,

one must always be wary.

So they warned me to stay,

hidden forever, in the prison of haven.

Lies I once believed,

oh so quickly.

But today, I woke up.

The cocoon around me

has become a cage.

Engulfing me in a sea

of nothingness for eternity.

To break the shackles,

their and my own,

I push with all my might,

ready to even die,

but not without a fight.

When the world seems crumbling apart,

finally sink in, the horrors of a new start.

Retreating back felt right,

But I chose to stay back and fight..

Just when I felt I was completely torn,

A  happened,

And I transformed.

 

 

Copyright (c) Sneha P [ Rights Reserved

What you hide

You want to say it out loud.

All these words, these feelings just fighting  crawl out of their carefully crafted cage. To spill out. They crave to be heard by someone. By anyone.
The desire to scream and say it. Say all of it.

But the fear of being judged overpowers the urge to express them. So you keep them locked up.

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This darkness, this loneliness,  this emptiness you feel digging a hole in your chest.. that is not all who you are.
There is more to you.

There are days when you want to crawl into your bed and not get out. When you want  walk off somewhere and never to come back.
Days when you want to say hurtful things that you don’t mean, just because you are hurt and you can’t deal with It.

But there are good days too.

Days when you are grateful for everything. Where you feel you will be okay afterall. Where you can appreciate the beauty of life.
Days when you are fun to be around.
Not always though.

You fear that once you let the other part, the dark part be seen, then you’ll become vulnerable. 
Because people will always see you in that light.
The lonely one. The sad one. The depressed one. The grumpy one.
That makes it even worse.

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Feelings

You have your good and bad days.
But that’s hard to explain to someone. Someone who would accept the whole package.
Accept the gloomy and embrace the cheerful days.
Because who said that just because you have your bad days, you are a bad person?

Copyright ( c ) [ Sneha P ] Rights reserved.

The mystical realm of the Unknown

It’s amazing how at times even the smallest of things, the most random comments can end up teaching you something in a jiffy.

For instance, earlier today I was watching a movie ‘ The Chronicles of Narnia ‘

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I have a habit of asking “What if this were to happen to us?” whenever watching a movie or reading a book.
So I ended up asking a friend ” What would you do if you were to stumble across a place hidden behind a wardrobe. A place full of magical things and people. A fantasy land. Would you courageously march forward and enter this world or would you control your curiousity and turn away, for the fear of facing whatever horror that could lie inside. For you know what they say, only the known is safe. ”

If I was given this choice I would’ve taken a while to make a list of pros and cons before coming to an answer (Yeah, I know it’s just a silly what If question, but hey you never know)

However much to my dismay, my friend answered unhesitatingly, that they would get away from the wardrobe/ the entrance to this magical world and probably get rid of it. Just to be safe, you know. That was it, end of discussion.

Later, however, I found myself wondering how often do we end up doing this – avoiding new opportunities, straying away from risks, from uncertainty, fearing the unknown and sticking to the normal, the ordinary, the known. More importantly,  how often do we end up missing on great opportunities, once in a lifetime chances, new experiences, the chance of meeting interesting people and exposing our mind to new experiences?

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I am not saying that taking the job offer that you turned down would’ve been life changing or buying that new car would’ve  blown your mind away.
What I mean is, at times its okay to embrace ones curiosity, to venture into the unknown, to embrace change.

You never know what might lie on the other side of the door. The mystical realm of the unknown is a strange place, some regret not going, others regret venturing into it. 

I suppose all there is to it to question whether ten years down the line what would regret the most, doing something that turned out to be wrong or not doing something that could’ve been right? 

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One day while wandering around,
Upon my ears, fell a curious sound.

I walked towards it to find a dusty door,
It had a crumbly sign
“OPEN TO FIND OUT MORE.”

Dazed, I wondered what to do next,
What would be my actions, what would be their effect?

If I go any further, I might face the unknown, 
A kingdom of gold, or horrifying sights, I might be shown.

Abashed and anxious to avoid any trouble,
I turned away and crawled into my tiny known bubble.

It was forever ago, but I still wonder,
What would have happened had I gone yonder?

Copyright  (c) 2015 Sneha P [ Rights Reserved ]

Not as you expected

Time goes by so fast. In the blink of an everything changes. 
All the things we wished to do some day later in the future , all the plans we made for when we’ll have a holiday, when we’ll go go to college or when we’ll meet that special someone, or get that big job. How many of these wishes materialise? How many of them are forgotten over time.
How many we fail to pursue.  How many of them we let go off.  How many of  them do we find silly now?
How many of them we procrastinated further?

Years ago remember when you looked at that picture of a beautiful beach? You decided to go there someday when you get the time, but never did. Never got the time/money/company.

Remember that dress you didn’t buy a year back because you were saving up, well maybe it won’t fit you anymore.
(Not trying to be vain here, or trying to promote impulsive behaviour. Trust me, I am the last one to act on my impulses)

Remember that book you thought you’ll read before you are 20, but never got around to doing it.
Well trivial as it seems, maybe you are not 20 now. That time is forever lost. Maybe you won’t ever find the time to go to that beach now. Or try that dress.

Things don’t always turn out how you expect them to be. You expected your job will be super cool with awesome colleagues, maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t.  It’s a drag with a ton of  office politics.
Maybe you didn’t publish that novel you always wanted to.
What do you do? Life doesn’t always turn out to be how you imagined it.
Who’s fault is that? One can never say.

But all I know is –

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I honestly believe in this.

Also, I know that repenting about all those wasted opportunities and dreams that you let go off or that never happened, is only robbing you of whatever you could be doing right now to prevent yourself from making similar mistakes.

Maybe now you can actually pursue whatever it is you want to, so that 5 years later you won’t have similar regrets. 

The Art Of Letting Go

All of us have been in that place where that one person or thing, felt too important to let go of.
Where everything in our universe was about that thing or person.
Where even after spending endless hours, days and months.. perhaps even years, everything felt stuck.
You felt like you were in a rut.
All the endless worrying, stressing out and obsession, bring nothing but hours of misery and happiness foregone.
All the little things, quarrels, tiffs and unpleasant experiences, that all of us obsess about before sleeping, are nothing but dead weight. None of them will matter after a day or two.
They keep you from mental peace. 

 

let it go 2

 

Similarly with some people  even after endless efforts on your part, sacrifices and patience, if it just doesn’t feel right on the inside, Let it go.
You deserve better.

 

let it go

 

Break those old shackles and let the spirit of positiveness flow, burning away old grudges, regrets and mistakes, make way for the fresh wind of change and a new tomorrow.