Carefree 

Carefree

As I lay tossing and turning, 

Worrying,fretting, fearing. 

A flood of thoughts perpetually 

 crashing In my mind violently. 

Reminiscing, Regretting, Racing 

My mind works overtime, 

Laying away at night,  

Convincing myself I’m fine. 

I can only wonder

What a good sleep feels like

What it would be like 

If I wasn’t me, 

What would it be like 

If I was carefree.

(C) Sneha P 

A part of me

Janet died a year ago, or so people think. But I know better.
She misses being in society, still the social butterfly. I urge her to stay hidden, but she manages to claw her way out to meet people, friends, family.
Luckily people think it’s me, so no one suspects anything.
Thank goodness we are twins. I can’t have people send her away,  again.
She completes me.

Forward and Backward

Imagine that you are trying to build a structure, say a house.

Everytime you think you are done, making the first floor and want to do something more, a second floor, something better, everytime you long for, a better house perhaps, something goes wrong in the first floor.

Then you are forced to focus all your efforts on the first floor again. Repair, incur costs,spend a lot of time to get things in order again. 
Then when you try to get back to building the second floor, the same vicious cycle starts again.

Sometimes that’s how things are in life.
Everytime you want something more, and you try to go for it, you’re forced to deal with problems in your everyday life first, ultimately feeling stuck in the same place. Scared to hope. Scared to move ahead, for the fear of being dragged down again.

I wonder is it because when change is set in motion, there’s about to be discomfort.  If you stay in your comfort zone, scared to take on new challenges, everything with be peachy. Stagnant though.  But when you try to move forward, you will face some inertia.

A tale with a twist

Once in a land that had was perfectly ordinary in all respects, lived a young girl, doe eyed and innocent at heart like all children of her age. Growing up listening to fairy tales, like every other girl of her age she dreamed of becoming a princess someday. However, as the years passed, she was constantly instructed by people on several fundamentals of being a princess. Talk in a soft tone of voice, stand erect, wear high heels, wear superfluous elegant dresses, associate with only a select few so on and so forth. She was dazed, because she thought the main duty as a princess should be to look after the well being of everyone, to protect and lead.  However, later on she was informed that’s the job of a prince or a king.Finally, she grew sick of these ‘guidelines’ and decided to give up on being a princess.

Thankfully for her, she found a new dream. Not a dream, as much as a way of life. She decided she was done with trying to do good for the masses. Thus, she chose to live a common life as a common hardworking, honest girl. Going about her business. However, the society as we know it still just couldn’t leave her alone. There were rules to be followed in this regard too. For instance, she was frowned upon when she stayed out late working after it was dark, they said it wasn’t ‘safe’. They gave her ‘different’ work, more ‘suited’ to her capacity as a girl, they said. They wanted her opinion, but only for the sake of it.

Weary of all these restraints and feeling utterly disfavored she decided to abandon all civility and cross over to the dark side, become an evil witch. It wasn’t too hard. Women before her had done it too. She had to just find them, and she did. She found being dark, oddly liberating as no one dared to speak to her, or dictate the terms of her life. However, sadly for the poor little girl, it wasn’t the end of her ordeal. The people still had something to say, now more than ever. They called her horrible names and banished her from society ( even though she never really did anything ‘evil’, except perhaps living in the dark forest and practicing magic). As much as she tried to ignore the jabs, she was fed up.

One day, she woke up and decided she was done living a life where she had no freedom whatsoever.  She performed one last spell as a witch, a complex and painful one and transformed herself into a young lad.

Thereafter, she did whatever she wanted, went wherever she pleased, spoke however she wanted to and lived happily ever after without any interference from the people who had tormented her with their rules all these years.

 

The end.

 

 

 

 

Copyright (c) Sneha P

Where are you going, where have you been

Where are you going, where have you been ” is a short story by Joyce Carol Oates.
It revolves around a somewhat self obsessed, 15 year old girl, Connie, who seems to live in a world of her own. 
The story appearing to be  a simple one on surface, is in fact full of symbols and motifs.
It addresses subtly the mind frame and attitude of teenagers (even today) where they feel like the world is at their feet. Anyone who states otherwise is just their enemy or probably jealous of them.
More importantly, through motifs like music that always seems to “transport the character into a different world”, the writer addresses the fact how pop culture,  be it music, tv or magazines tend to romanticise things. How teenagers believe the ideas portrayed in such platforms to be completely true, no matter how far from reality they are.

The girl in the story figuratively lives a dual life.
One at house where she is normal, one for the outside world, where she is a social, attractive and mature woman.
Though she enjoys this facade of pretending to be mature and worldly, in reality, she is just a scared little girl. Unaware of the world and it’s cruel ways.
She is comfortable and confident enough to pull this facade off as long as she’s sure she’ll be home to the things she knows, her family.
But when the time comes and the facade ends, she stares at the face horror, of a very real and eminent danger.
Which is when she sees herself for who she really is, for the first and last time perhaps.

Another important character is the antagonist, who is essentially an enigma.
Open to interpretation of the reader.
Several theories believe he represents the allure of darkness, of the demon. Some parts of the story hint towards it too. But not quite clearly. 
So he could just be another criminal in the making or a psychopath.
Everything about him right from his appearance, demeanor to the way he talks – charming at first, menacing later on -all build up an ominous vibe.
He forces the two aspect of Connie to converge, under unfortunate circumstances.

In the end, the reader is left to deal with the horror of little Connie making a decision, possibly her last one – or at least one that would change her life forever. Scar her forever.

Some interpretations believe that the whole story could’ve been a dream in the mind of the girl, but nevertheless, it would open her eyes to the reality of the world and make her bridge the gap between her two personalities.

Have you read the story? What do you think about it?

Dhanteras

The Indian festival of Dhanteras, marks the 13 the day of the month, two days before Diwali which falls on a new moon night or amavasya.

Dhanteras – “Dhan” meaning wealth. “Teras” meaning the thirteenth day.  So this day marks the day of wealth, luck and prosperity.

Festivities begin in every household from today. However, preparations for Diwali including cleaning up the house,  preparing delicacies and snacks, shopping for new clothes begin a month in advance. 

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Namkeen - A salty Indian snack.

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Sev a deep fried delicacy

The day of Dhanteras which happens to be today this year ( The date of the festival differ every year based on the tithi ) is an auspicious one.

People celebrate by worshipping the Hindu Goddess Laksmi, the Goddess of wealth and Lord Kuber, the custodian of wealth. Prayers for wealth, prosperity and well being throughout the year are made.

Lord Dhanvantari, considered to be the physician of Gods is worshipped today for good health. It is believed that he emerged from a sea today, when gods churned the sea,carrying a pot of Amrit or Elixir.

The main doors of houses are decorated with powdered colour called rangoli and earthen oil lamps called diyas. This is done to ward off evil.

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Rangoli

It’s customary for people to buy Gold, silver or metal ornaments or utensils are purchased to bring luck into one’s home.

In the evening, auspicious temple bells can be heard from several houses as people perform evening prayers or puja and sing praises or aarti.

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Diyas

Windows of houses twinkle with electric lights, paper lanterns and the likes. The whole nation is lit up and a sense of joy is felt pulsing through the air, in the brightly lit homes and the laughter of people enjoying this auspicious day.

However it’s not just about the lights and celebrations, it’s about a sense of family. About coming together to share the joy of the festival.

Happy Dhanteras to everyone out there ☺

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Lit up buildings