When I was younger
A walk in the park, in fall evenings
Crisp cool wind and the golden glow before the sunset
Illuminating the glass windows of tall buildings
And auburn leaves falling all around me,
Were enough to make me smile wide.
I’d imagine I was in a movie
And feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
I’d hope to stumble into
My celebrity crush on the streets
And dream of walking Paris streets.
I would dream of growing up
Of having the freedom to go where I’d like
To pursue my heart’s calling and
Live however I liked.
Foolish dreams made of stardust and hope,
Swept away like fallen autumn leaves
By the merciless rake of adulthood and more.
Now I walk the streets, and feel the wind against my chest,
But my preoccupied mind and unobservant eyes
Ignore the wind, the leaves and the sunset.
I have the freedom, but I am confined.
I can go where I want, in theory
But I can’t take that first step, not today, not really.
For things need to be done, bills need to be paid,
People have to be pleased and deadlines have to be met.
Too afraid to take a chance,
I continue this monotonous dance.
The onset of autumn brings along memories
Of a golden time that made me beam.
But I can no longer feel it, for I lost my ability to dream.
(C) Sneha Pathak