You want to say it out loud.
All these words, these feelings just fighting crawl out of their carefully crafted cage. To spill out. They crave to be heard by someone. By anyone.
The desire to scream and say it. Say all of it.
But the fear of being judged overpowers the urge to express them. So you keep them locked up.
This darkness, this loneliness, this emptiness you feel digging a hole in your chest.. that is not all who you are.
There is more to you.
There are days when you want to crawl into your bed and not get out. When you want walk off somewhere and never to come back.
Days when you want to say hurtful things that you don’t mean, just because you are hurt and you can’t deal with It.
But there are good days too.
Days when you are grateful for everything. Where you feel you will be okay afterall. Where you can appreciate the beauty of life.
Days when you are fun to be around.
Not always though.
You fear that once you let the other part, the dark part be seen, then you’ll become vulnerable.
Because people will always see you in that light.
The lonely one. The sad one. The depressed one. The grumpy one.
That makes it even worse.
You have your good and bad days.
But that’s hard to explain to someone. Someone who would accept the whole package.
Accept the gloomy and embrace the cheerful days.
Because who said that just because you have your bad days, you are a bad person?
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